Erma Bombeck weighs in!

Comic Relief - Diet Totals 758-Pound Loss

I have dieted continuously for the last two decades and lost a total of 758 pounds. By all calculations, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

I have done a lot of kidding around with Weight Watchers, but it is the only organization in which I ever lost a great deal of weight. But I fought them.

Every Tuesday morning, a group of us had to "weigh in" before the lecture. Our ritual was enough to boggle the imagination. We got together a checklist of precautions before we actually stepped on the scale.

Bathroom? Check. Water pill? Check. Have you removed underwear, wedding rings, nail polish? Check. Set aside shoes and earrings? Check. Are you wearing a summer dress beneath your winter coat? Check.

The first week I stepped on the scale and my instructor said, "You have gained." (Next week, I cut my hair.)

The next week, she said, "You have lost eight ounces, but that is not enough." (I had the fillings in my teeth removed.)

The third week, I had dropped a pound, but my instructor was still not pleased. (I had my tonsils taken out.)

Finally, she really chewed me out. She accused me of not sticking to the diet and not taking it seriously. That hurt.    "I didn't want to tell you," I said, "but I think I am pregnant."

"How far?" she said coldly, clicking her ballpoint pen to make a notation on my card.
"Possibly three days," I said.
She glowered. "Any other excuses?"

"Would you believe I have a cold and my head is swollen?"
"No."

"How about I was celebrating the Buzzard's Return to Hinckley, Ohio, and had butter on my popcorn?"

She tapped her pen impatiently on the card and stared at me silently.

"Lint in the navel?" I offered feebly.

"How about first one at the trough?" she asked dryly.

I learned quickly never to argue with a woman who had the scales on her side.

I saw my old instructor the other day and she eyed me carefully and said, "When are you returning to class?"

"As soon as I have my appendix removed," I said returning her gaze.

I'm not sure, but I think I heard her moan.

~~Erma Bombeck

Monday Mailer - Sept #1

This is the Monday Mailer card that I made and sent this week.  I really like the way it turned out.  I used the stamp set, Autumn Days with the new in-colors, Soft Suede and Dusty Durango.  I cut out the 3 small leaves in Versa-mark and then in Ultra Thick Embossing Powder (3-4 times).  Very fall-like, don't you think?  That's our theme this month.

Oh .... by the way, my Steelers WON last night but it was a nail biter!!  Went to overtime and I didn't get home until after midnight!  Hope this is not a clue to what the whole season will be like.  Unfortunately, we lost one of our best Defensemen, Troy Polamalu.  Hopefully, he'll only be out 2-5 weeks with his sprained knee. 

Remember

Today I hope you took a moment and remembered those who lost their lives when the United States was attacked 8 years ago. I can remember where I was and what I was doing to this day.  Lots of people lost their lives that day, and lots of lives were saved.  Our men and women who serve to protect us ALL THE TIME day in and day out could use your thanks and prayers.

God bless America!!!

Mojo Monday Sketch Challenge

This card is for the Mojo Monday card sketch #103.  Since I just came back from traveling, I thought this sentiment was a good one!

The cardstock is some Stampin' Up and some from other sources that I've hoarded away!! 

I'll be pulling on my Steelers tonight!  Hope you will too!  First game of the season .... I'm pumped!!

My swap cards

It's just dawned on me that I didn't share the cards I made for the swap!  How could I forget something like that!!

Recipe:  Stamps:  Autumn Days; Inspired by Nature

CS:  Old Olive; Crushed Curry; Razzleberry

Ink:  Soft Suede; Olive; Razzleberry

Acces:  Top Note; Large Grommet; Razzleberry ribbon; Key Tag Punch (Retired)

Recipe:  Stamps:  Circle Circus; On Your Birthday

CS:  Razzleberry; Black; Pretty in Pink; WW

Ink:  Razzleberry; Black; Pretty in Pink

Acces:  Razzleberry Ribbon; Circles Punches; Scallop Circle punch

Final 2 Swap Cards

I had a fun day today.  Sonny went target shooting with his friends and I stayed home and played all day!  I made a cool card box with 4 matching cards that I will be sharing with you as soon as I take pictures of it.  Tonight I went to Bunco in my neighborhood and actually won $10 for losing!!  I only won 3 games (out of 12!) so I was the big LOSER!! 

Here's my final 2 cards from the swap.

Recipe:  Stamp:  Birthday Bliss

CS:  Choc Chip; Old Olive; Textured Bermuda Bay & Razzleberry Patterns DSP

Markers:  Choc Chip; Bermuda Bay, Razzleberry & Old Olive

Acces:  Lattice Bigz Die; 1 3/4" circle punch; Razzleberry Ribbon; jumbo brad, corner rounder

Recipe: Stamps:  Greetings Earthlings

CS:  Sahara Sand; Bermuda Bay; Soft Sand; Thoroughly Modern DSP

Acces:  Soft Sand & Bermuda Bay Ribbons; Designer Label Punch; Distressing Tool; Jumbo Grommets

More Swaps for you

Hope you enjoyed your Labor Day weekend.  I certainly did!  We went out on our boat again this afternoon.  I ended up sleeping most of the time trying to get rid of a headache.  I haven't had a bad headache in a long time - think I might have been dehydrated. 

Here are a few more of the swaps I'd like to share with you.  I hope you are enjoying them as much as I did!

Recipe:  Stamps:  Out of the Box; Three Little Words

CS:  Bermuda Bay, Lovely Lilac, WW, Choc Chip; Choc Chip DSP

Ink:  Bermuda Bay, Choc Chip; Lovely Lilac

Misc:  Bermuda Bay Ribbon; 1/4" , 1" & 1 3/4" circle punches

Recipe:  Stamp:  C is for Cat

CS:  Bermuda Bay, Crushed Curry, Dusty Durango, WW

Ink:  Soft Suede, Bermuda Bay, Crushed Curry

Acces:  1" & 1 1/4" circle punches; spiral punch, paper piercer; 1/2" polka dot Crushed Curry ribbon

No recipe was included with this one - sorry!

Recipe: Stamps:  Greenhouse Garden; Oval All

CS:  Cottage Wall DSP; Orchid Opulence; Rich Razzleberry; WW

Ink:  Rich Razzleberry; Orchid Opulence; Old Olive

Acces:  White organza ribbon; medium oval punch; scalloped oval punch

President Obama's Address to Schools

I have been hearing about all the controversy over Pres. Obama's speech on Tuesday to the nation's school children. C'mon people!! Is it just because it is Obama? You know, Reagan and Bush both made speeches to school children and we didn't hear all this discord.

I keep hoping that the clear-headed, fair-minded opposition to Obama's policies will separate itself from the wide-eyed fury at everything he does, says, thinks, wears and eats. I wonder how many of the people who are so angry about Obama talking to their children are the same people who go on about other kids having bad parents. I would think good parents should have the confidence to let their children hear the speech, help them put it context, and urge them to think for themselves - just like they should with everything else they hear in school. There are many parents considering taking their children out of school on Tuesday rather than listen to the speech. What is that teaching them? That it is ok to skip school if something is coming up you don't like? Maybe the next spelling test would be another reason to skip? In refusing to let them listen to our President, we are not giving them a chance to hear things and think for themselves - rather they will end up mimic-ing what the parent believes.

My son and daughter-in-law are on the opposite side of the fence with this issue than I am. Although, to be fair, their main objection is that teachers at their schools are supposed to do lesson plans that day to incorporate the speech. You can read about her objections HERE and then form your own opinion. Everyone should be entitled to one (opinion), don't you think? That's what makes this world a great place!

Swap Cards to Share!

I know .... it's been a long time since I've shared any artwork with you. Well, sit back and prepare to be "wowed." I did several swaps in August. One of them was waiting for me when I returned home last week. They are cards from the new catalog and they are done by members of the "No More Bad Swaps" group. They are all just fabulous and have made me add a few items on my "must have" list - like the Lattice Die!

So .... drum roll please ..... here are a few of them (with recipes underneath each one):

Recipe: Stamp: Herb Expressions

CS: Nouveau Chic DSP; Black; Basic Gray; Sage Shadow; Whis White

Ink: Black, Apricot Appeal, Sage Shadow markers

Acces: 5/8" basic black ribbon; Photo Corners Punch, Apricot Appeal brads

Recipe: Stamps: Greenhouse Garden; Falling Leaves

CS: Soft Suede, Rich Razzleberry, Thoroughly Modern, Very Vanilla

Ink: Soft Suede, Rich Razzleberry, Old Olive

Acces: Bigz Lattice Die, Big Shot; Word Window & Modern Label Punches; Gold Brads

Recipe: Stamp: Friends Rock, Rockin' Wheel
CS: Elegant Eggplant, Melon Mambo, Crushed Curry, Bermuda Bay, Autumn Traditions DSP
Ink: Elegant Eggplant, Melon Mambo, In Color markers
Acces: Scallop edge punch; 1" & 1 1/4" circle punches, arrow punch, Orchard Ribbon Originals

Recipe: Stamps: Wonderful Words, Out of the Box
CS: Melon Mambo; Choc Chip, Whis. White; Old Olive; Choc Chip DSP
Ink: Melon Mambo; white craft
Acces: Gold Brad; Scallop Punch; Old Olive 5/8" ribbon; 1/4" circle punch

Stampin' Up Changes

A lot of you may already know about the announcement Stampin' Up made last week. It was a rather startling, though not entirely unexpected, announcement: SU! demos are no longer able to blog, twitter, email, or facebook in a promotional way for another company that sells competing products. I am saddened that many who do both SU! and design team work now have to make what is a very hard decision. There has been so much speculation floating around for the past few days, partly due to the fact that SU! was not perfectly clear as to what they meant and people panicked. I have heard some people say they would never buy from SU! again or wouldn't sign up now, though they had been thinking about it. The amount of misinformation that is floating out there, some of it sadly spread by some of our own demonstrators, has already damaged SU!'s reputation.

Stampin' Up has a offered a webinar on their site for us to understand the changes. They said that we can link to our friends blogs, we can link up to sites like Splitcoaststampers, Stampin' Addicts, and Craft Critique!; we can link anywhere that does NOT sell competitive products and have a shopping cart or Buy Now button on the site. We can even design for other companies, we just can't blog about it. We can't link up to places that actually sell on their site. When you post a project using other companies stamps, or supplies, there are particular rules that apply. SU! encourages it's demos not to be too specific about who the manufacturer is, what the price was, and where you bought it.

I am saddened that many SU demonstrators are now wrestling with a hard decision, especially the ones who design for other companies. Right now, I will be signing the contract and staying with SU. I love the product .... what can I say? I love the matching inks, card stock, ribbon, etc.! I am a little upset that this has happened. I feel like my blog should be MY blog and I should be allowed to say what I want to. Probably the only changes you will notice on here is I won't link to other stores where I teach classes or buy items. Other than that, things should stay the same.

I hope you will continue to support me and order SU items from me. If you want to know specifics about non-SU items that I post, please leave me a comment or e-mail me.