Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Smoothies for You

 Try these smoothies!  They are good for you too!

Blueberry-Banana Smoothie
Makes 3 (3/4-cup) servings
Using almond butter boosts protein and gives this smoothie a rich, almost chocolaty flavor.

  • 1 cup unsweetened frozen blueberries
  • 1 medium banana, peeled and sliced
  • 1/2 cup nonfat plain, or vanilla, yogurt (can use silken tofu)
  • 1 cup orange juice
  • 2 tbsp almond butter (or peanut butter)
  • 1 tsp honey
Add all ingredients to blender. Cover and blend until smooth and creamy.  Serve immediately.

Per serving:
   190 calories, 7 g fat, 0.5 g sat fat, 31 g carbs, 3 g fiber, 70 mg sodium, 5 g protein *5.5 (4)

Peachy Almond Smoothie
Makes 3 (3/4-cup) servings
For extra body and fiber, ground oatmeal is used.  You can use a variety of fresh berries and stone fruits.

  • 2 tbsp rolled oats
  • 3 ice cubes
  • 2 cups sliced fresh peaches (or nectarines or strawberries)
  • 1 cup almond milk (or 1% milk; I like the SF almond milk)
  • 2 tsp lemon juice
  • 1 tsp honey
Place the rolled oats in the blender and blend until oats are finely ground.  Place in small bowl and set aside. Place the ice cubes in the blender and crush.  Add the peaches (or other fruit), almond milk (or 1% milk), lemon juice, honey and the reserved rolled oats.  Cover and blend until smooth and creamy.  Serve immediately.

Per serving:
   80 calories, 1.5 g fat, 0 g sat fat, 17 g carbs, 2 g fiber, 50 mg sodium, 2 g protein *2.5 (1.5)

To increase your fiber, try adding flaxseed to your smoothie (1 tbsp adds 1.6 g fiber).
To increase your calcium, try adding nonfat dry milk powder to your smoothie (1 tbsp adds 62 mg).
To increase your protein, try adding whey powder (1 tbsp vanilla-flavored whey protein powder adds 4 g).
~~~Tufts University Health and Nutrition Letter

 Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Do you have to tell it all?
Where do you get the glaring right
To make my clothes look just too tight?
I think I'm fine but I can see you
won't cooperate with me;
The way you let the shadows play
You'd think my hair was getting gray
What's that, you say? A double chin?
No, that's the way the light comes in;
If you persist in peering so
You'll confiscate my facial glow,
And then if you're not hanging straight
You'll tell me next I'm gaining weight;
I'm really quite upset with you
For giving this distorted view;
I hate you being smug and wise -
O, look what's happened to my thighs!
I warn you now, O mirrored wall,
Since we're not on speaking terms at all,
If I look like this in my new jeans
You'll find yourself in smithereens!!!
  ~~~Author Unknown

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Ever Wonder What to Do With the Cards You Make?

I saw this today and thought it was hilarious!  Enjoy!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


We went with some friends last night to see the comedian, Gallagher.  He was performing at the Galway Hooker in Cornelius which is one of our favorite restaurants in the area.  I have never seen Gallagher perform live but used to watch him back in the 80s on tv. His shows were always filled with long monologues of social commentaries, but he gained attention for his surreal, incongruous props - a giant couch-shaped trampoline, an oversized Big Wheel bike, and of course, the Sledge-O-Matic. He was always so funny and at the end of his acts, he would always smash a watermelon with a mallet spraying it all over the first few rows of the audience.  We were a little concerned last night because The Comedy Zone at Galway is pretty small.  But, it was ok - he didn't smash a watermelon.  Although I think he may have earlier in the week when he performed in Charlotte.  Gallagher has definitely gotten OLD!!  He's now 64 and makes fun of the aging process.  Sonny and I could relate to a lot of his observations!!  His comedy is probably not for everyone - he makes fun of gays and blacks a lot.  But, if you can overlook that, you will laugh at him.  We had a great time.

I've been on a spree making cards lately.  Sunday I concentrated on one of the stamp sets in the Sale-a-bration catalog, Sweet Summer and made several different cards in the in-colors.  I will share a couple with you now and show the other ones tomorrow.

For this card, I used the In-Color Patterns Designer Pack (pg 175) - Blushing Bride.  Since it is double-sided, I used the stripe side for the top and the pattern side for the bottom of the card.  The green "happy birthday" strip, I created in My Digital Studio but you could also easily do it with any word processing program.  I stamped the flourish from Sweet Summer on the striped paper and used markers to color it.  I stamped the leaves on a white 1 1/4" circle that I layered onto 1 3/8 pink circle.  I stamped the flowers, colored them with markers and cut them out.  It's hard to see but I dotted each middle with a Pearl Pen.  I wish I could tell you where the sentiment came from, but I don't remember!!  I put some bling on either side of the sentiment and "poofed" it up in the middle.

Again, I used the In-Color pack but this time it's Peach Parfait.  I used the Dotted Swiss embossing folder on the white card.  I cut the scallop pieces - Peach and Pear - with my Nestabilities.  I stamped the flourish from Sweet Summer directly on the striped paper.  I stamped the leaves on Pear Pizazz and cut them out.  I stamped the flower onto Peach Parfait, colored it with markers and punched it out with the 1" circle punch.  I added a little bling to the flower and a piece of Peach Parfait ribbon to the bottom.